What happens when you stop wellbutrin

What Happens When You Stop Wellbutrin? - The Depression Forums - A ...

I think i want to quit wellbutrin.... does quitting usually lwead to a relapse of depression?

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Even as you are reading this, advances are being made in the field of medications designed to help you quit smoking. As it happens, a new application as a stop smoking aid has been found for a medication that has been around for some ...

How long does Zoloft withdrawal last? | Antidepressant Medications

__http://quitpaxil.info/chatboard/index.php. Your doctor should be recommending that you reduce your dosage by 25mg a day every week days if you need to stop taking it, if not more slowly than that. __http://crazymeds.org/. Reply. Mvanderbilt says: ... Luvox, Pamelor, Prozac, Paxil, Wellbutrin and Zoloft has soared in recent years. . “It is the recognition of the withdrawal syndrome connected to many . _www.newstarget.com/020617.html – Similar pages ...

What happens when you smoke on Wellbutrin (or Zyban ...

Question by Ben: What happens when you smoke on Wellbutrin (or Zyban)? And please don't tell me smoking is bad for my health and that I should quit…I already know that. BTW…I take Wellbutrin for depression, not smoking cessation. Best answer: ... I do not know about Zyban, but I smoked on wellbutrin and I didn't notice anything, but this was before it was thought to help people stop smoking.If I had had this in my mind I might have had some kind psychosomatic reaction… ...

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Wellbutrin & Drying Out - Any Way To Stop This - The Depression ...

Hello, I *highly* recommend you see your doctor about this and *with his approval* stop taking the wellbutrin asap as this sounds like an allergic reaction to the medication, it sounds like a form of rash and it means you are allergic to ... with your doctor as soon as possible, it happens to some people and dry skin and rash are bad news.... dont mean to scare you as it doesnt sound life-threatening by any means but yoiu should let your doctor know right away about this. ...

+INFANT-CHILD ABUSE, SUBSTANCE P AND A LIFETIME OF SADNESS « Stop ...

This is logical because ABUSE CAUSES PAIN and when this pain is extreme (and chronic), happens early in an infant-child's life during its rapid growth during critical windows of development, and involves a failed-dangerous attachment relationship, there is no way that .... Effexor and Cymbalta both have dual reuptake action of serotonin and norepinephrine, not unlike the tricyclics, while Wellbutrin works mainly on both the neurotransmitter dopamine and norepinephrine. ...

Brain Overloads on thoughts, any hope? - ADD Forums - Attention ...

I have too many thoughts and then get jammed. Like what happens when you open all your PC programs at the same time. My husband gets annoyed when this happens. The only solution I found is to try to stress less. ... whoa same here. and then people say "stop thinking about everything at once" (I mean in a way trying to be helpful) - but I can't! the thoughts are just there! I think it's better to just let them run in the background, I have no idea how to solve this. ...

What happened to you when you went off of your Wellbutrin?

Im actually a pretty avid yahoo answers user, just wanted to make a new account so no one knew who I was. I suffer from severe depression, after the end of a long relationship, that meant the world to me. Since then my life has gone down hill. I'm failing my classes at school, and Im about to flunk out of my college program. My parents don't know that but they hate me anyways so Im sure they wouldn't be surprised. I hate my job its depressing as all hell. I see people suffering through life every day, their lives becoming useless and they live just for the sake of living, they've lost everyone and everything important to them. Ive seen many people die in my line of work, and it really has gotten to me, so much so that I had to leave one job, but the new one is not much better. Actually right now for example Im taking care of a 60 year old, she used to be the lunch supervisor at my highschool. She now has cancer. Today she told me about how scared she was for tomorrow because they were going to tell her if she could keep going to chemo and if she couldn't then she'll be dead within a few weeks. This isnt the only hard conversation Ive had with patients but it was since I was diagnosed with server depression. I hate my home life, I still live at home because I cant afford to live on my own, and my parents drive me crazy just like im sure I drive them crazy. Heres the funny thing, About 5 months ago after my girlfriend of 3 years left me I started seeking professional help after a huge breakdown. I was diagnosed with sever depression, and was prescribed a daily dose of 150mg of wellbutrin. For a while at the begining I had started to smoke, do drugs, do every possible self destructive thing possible. Then after I started the wellbutrin it stopped. I quit smoking, drugs the works. I started seeing a therapist once a week, and it was really helping. But now all of a sudden Im back to how I was... I feel just as depressed if not more. My doctor increased my dose to 300mg per day and prescribed ativan for anxiety. I've still been going to see my therapist. I want to be happy god I want to be happy so badly, I just cant seem to get ahead in life, every time something happens that I think is going well it just gives me the finger and says f*ck you! My therapist suggested I try dating again, I did, I was supposed to go on my first "first" date with someone in three years, she said yes and then blew me off, and said maybe next week. I just don't know what to do anymore, the meds don't seem to be helping anymore, or if they are then I must be way over being depressed. It's just if the meds wont help and the therapy isnt working then what else is there... I dont want to feel like this anymore, I dont want to be dependant on others. I want to feel happy and I cant cant figure out how. You know what I did a few hours ago, after coming home from being blown off from my date and having a end of life discussion with a patient today, I opened up a bottle of rum and had a flew glasses, then when everyone left my house, I turned off all the lights and layed infront of the tv, put a blanket over me got comfortable and grabbed a shot gun, not loaded. But I thought for a minute about doing it, I even closed my eyes and pulled the trigger a few times.Then I cried for an hour, and finally got up and threw up for 10 minutes, until I started throwing up blood. I almost wish I had the guts to do it but I know I never could, Im too much of a coward and I couldnt do that to my parents.I feel like I'm in hell, and theres no way out. Why cant I just catch a break, I just want to find someone who makes me feel happy again, who actually cares about me. I want to stop worrying about school, and I just want to be able to wake up again and be happy. I've been put on the meds and I talk to the therapists... I dont feel like going to get locked away, in some padded cell but I just dont know what to do with myself. I still wake up. I still do my daily routine, with a few happy moments here and there thanks to the meds, but I still hate it, everything about my life. I hate it. Funny thing is there probably wont be anyone who reads this, and thats ok because what difference would it make, just like what difference has all these meds done, what difference has trying to get out there, meet new people, try damn hard to do the best possible job, try at school just to continually fail. What good is it? Well my parents just got home, and they're already yelling about something. I guess life goes on right... Since this has to be a question then here it is, how do you turn something with no hope into something worth living?



What's wrong with me...?

I really wanted to be prescribed Adderall b/c I'm so certain I have ADD. But anyway, when I asked her about it, she was really hesitant and told me it's only for extreme cases or something along those lines... Anyway, I managed to get a prescription from my family doctor... And I'm just wondering if I should mention it to her. So, my problem is that the Adderall isn't working out so well. It's making me sleepy (but I'm not sure if that's just the Adderall or if it's the combination of the Adderall and the other medication I'm taking (300 mg Wellbutrin daily) - and Wellbutrin didn't make me feel tired before btw). So, I really want to discuss that with her b/c she clearly knows a lot more about these types of medications and what might be my problem. And obviously I'm not going to mention anything to my family doctor about the Wellbutrin or else he'd be asking me why I didn't get the prescription from my psychiatrist in the first place.So, anyway, do you think I should tell her? And how do you think she'll react? Would she be angry/upset/annoyed...? And would she have the power to interfere and stop me from taking Adderall?Oh and do you guys have any idea why the Adderall might be making me sleepy? It hasn't done anything except make me more drowsy shortly after I take it. I'm on 10 mg a day, but today I tried taking 40 mg and nothing happened. I just feel pretty tired. Wellbutrin and Adderall usually go really well together, so I really don't know what it could be.



Should I tell my psychiatrist about the other medication I'm taking?

So bear with me this might be long.So when i think back, I've screwed up a lot of things, I went away my first year of college in 99 and barely made it through the year. Went back for 2nd year and i failed out first semester. I packed up my things and drove home after christmas break. I think thats when i can remember i became extremely depressed/suicidal. I had always been depressed but no one could have known throughout highschool. I only knew a couple of people from middle school to goo to the same high school as me because i went from a public to a private high school.When i came back I went to a community college here got my AA then transfered to another college yet only to be there for 2 quarters before coming back and getting a technical degree at another cc.I'll skip all my college failures but i basically did 6 years of school to not even get a degree.Since then ive applied for multiple jobs - traveling for many of the interviews and i've never made it passed the interview.I've gambled off all my money at least 4 times and had to move back home everytime. My family has always been there for me cause I almost always screw up something and it costs me and my family big.Now im 29 and living in my parents basement, i just got fired from my last job this last thursday and once again i'll run out of the little money i made. That makes 4 out of my last 6 jobs i've been fired from. Each time having to move home.I was diagnosed bipolar after a pretty severe manic - i wont go into that though. That was 3 years ago. I refused to think i was though it took 2 psychiatrists and my gp to convince me before i accepted it. I did the whole stop/start taking med thing before i was fired from a good job last May. Now ive been on lithium since august trying other things along with it ... currently with buproprion(wellbutrin).Since the last time i went to the hospital(mid feb this year) they sent me to a Crises Center (thank god, said they were out of beds). I didnt try killing myself but i wasnt doing something normal. I was just standing on a cliff edge sitting down hanging my legs over about a 150ft cliff id estimate and i was there for about 4 hours. But anyways i dont think my friends even want to talk to me anymore i havent hung out with anyone since this and i dont really want to either. Very few people know what happened though. But my family treats me totally different, like they are walking on thin ice that they dont want to say the wrong thing. And that only makes me feel more sh*tty.I've been seeing a therapist once a week for about 7 months right now and i get along good with him and i see him in the morning. I know i cant tell him this stuff cause he'll send me to the hospital. I really dont want to go there. Im also waiting to hear back from a psychiatrist my gp contacted about trying a new med combo whatnot. But that wont matter.So my whole life i've become a burden on my family both emotionally and financially. I know it might sting them at first but it will be for the better if i was gone. I already know how im going to do it and have everything ready. Its one of those things when there is no turning back and its 99%+ lethal. The only reason i didnt do it this weekend cause my moms bday was saturday. So im planning to go on thursday once i take care of some things.I guess the thing is you try and try and try and keep failing go from one stupid job to another making m/w. Im going to be 30 in may and i would still be in the same situation, im not going to marry anyone i dont want kids - why would i want to give this (bipolar) to one of my kids??I guess this has turned into a little of a rant but thanks for reading if you did.What is your breaking point?? When do you decide enough is enough??



Almost that time.........?

So bear with me this might be long. So when i think back, I've screwed up a lot of things, I went away my first year of college in 99 and barely made it through the year. Went back for 2nd year and i failed out first semester. I packed up my things and drove home after christmas break. I think thats when i can remember i became extremely depressed/suicidal. I had always been depressed but no one could have known throughout highschool. I only knew a couple of people from middle school to goo to the same high school as me because i went from a public to a private high school. When i came back I went to a community college here got my AA then transfered to another college yet only to be there for 2 quarters before coming back and getting a technical degree at another cc. I'll skip all my college failures but i basically did 6 years of school to not even get a degree. Since then ive applied for multiple jobs - traveling for many of the interviews and i've never made it passed the interview. I've gambled off all my money at least 4 times and had to move back home everytime. My family has always been there for me cause I almost always screw up something and it costs me and my family big. Now im 29 and living in my parents basement, i just got fired from my last job this last thursday and once again i'll run out of the little money i made. That makes 4 out of my last 6 jobs i've been fired from. Each time having to move home. I was diagnosed bipolar after a pretty severe manic - i wont go into that though. That was 3 years ago. I refused to think i was though it took 2 psychiatrists and my gp to convince me before i accepted it. I did the whole stop/start taking med thing before i was fired from a good job last May. Now ive been on lithium since august trying other things along with it ... currently with buproprion(wellbutrin). Since the last time i went to the hospital(mid feb this year) they sent me to a Crises Center (thank god, said they were out of beds). I didnt try killing myself but i wasnt doing something normal. I was just standing on a cliff edge sitting down hanging my legs over about a 150ft cliff id estimate and i was there for about 4 hours. But anyways i dont think my friends even want to talk to me anymore i havent hung out with anyone since this and i dont really want to either. Very few people know what happened though. But my family treats me totally different, like they are walking on thin ice that they dont want to say the wrong thing. And that only makes me feel more sh*tty. I've been seeing a therapist once a week for about 7 months right now and i get along good with him and i see him in the morning. I know i cant tell him this stuff cause he'll send me to the hospital. I really dont want to go there. Im also waiting to hear back from a psychiatrist my gp contacted about trying a new med combo whatnot. But that wont matter.So my whole life i've become a burden on my family both emotionally and financially. I know it might sting them at first but it will be for the better if i was gone. I already know how im going to do it and have everything ready. Its one of those things when there is no turning back and its 99%+ lethal. The only reason i didnt do it this weekend cause my moms bday was saturday. So im planning to go on thursday once i take care of some things. I guess the thing is you try and try and try and keep failing go from one stupid job to another making m/w. Im going to be 30 in may and i would still be in the same situation, im not going to marry anyone i dont want kids - why would i want to give this (bipolar) to one of my kids?? I guess this has turned into a little of a rant but thanks for reading if you did. What is your breaking point?? When do you decide enough is enough??



Almost that time.........?

I work for the federal government and my boss says that I can't stay past 4:45. I physically can't stop what I'm doing and then begin organizing the tedious little time keeping mechanism (sheer pain). And then I go through rituals.making sure everything is locked up.I take:Klonopin 3 mgsZoloft 100 mgsWellbutrin 300 mgsSeroquel (night) 300 mgsAdderall (day) 60 mgs.This line up is pretty much, "Doc, give me the whole refrigerator". But it's brought my mind down from 120 mph to about 5. I no longer suffer in the minute and even second. Time is irrelevant.But I still have pervasive issues. Obsessive compulsion and problems with tedious tasks.I believe I am quite capable of completing my work and doing well on my job, but I need some unaccounted for time in order to get things back up to speed. But accounting for every second of your day by applying it to cases, which by the hand, is limited to the expected time of an action. So you may work an eight hour day and still not have enough time to put on the sheet.People lie and work/game the system. Me, I have little experience in the science of deception. I tried it and failed miserably , it was so obvious.I work harder than everyone in the office, but am finding myself in this predicament.My first job, I was not medicated, but even if I was having problems with the job at the end (not to mention a fall out with a certain supervisor). The majority of the organization wanted to keep me. But I was on empty after a year of sitting in front of a computer with ADHD, Manic Depression, Paranoia, Social Anxiety, and Obsessive Compulsion Disorder.I know realize that the paranoia is separate from the social anxiety. Because the Zoloft (only SSRI approved for the treatment of SA by the FDA) doesn't relieve it. The only thing that makes the social paranoia go away is the Klonopin.I'm always thinking that someone is thinking of me. Especially when it is silent. This signals insecurity, but yet I'm a desultorily a mad man, especially when provoked due to the WWII super soldier elixir mixed with regular rage. Though, I am safe. Above all, do no harm. I've submitted to Jesus and God and realized that I needed Him more than he needed me. So if if Jesus/God is a fantasy than he is equivalent to a prison cell in which I am in and in possession of the key; holding myself against my own will.I do not plan to come out. Because then I would be a danger to the world. A public enemy.This started with a simple subject and it turned into a novel. But if anyone can give me that "Golden Answer" I've been looking for my entire life, give it a go.I've already concluded that everything in the world is connected, woven delicately. And at certain longitudes and latitudes, God may bless you with the opportunity of two things coming together.I thought that "All connections had been made" during my first psychotic episode. And I will never view the world in the same manner again. Jesus said, that if you keep the first two commandments, "This Do, and you will live". The second is to love your neighbor, but the first is to love God with all your heart. I, and few or many, I'm not sure, chose to fear, love, abide and serve man. Me so, and probably many so with the friendship between myself and my brother. I took on all the guilt of our failed relationship and I let it make me weak with a high sense of integrity and a long bought with suffering.But I finally saw through him in July 2009. The Adderall and the Zoloft (another stim), plus getting the best thing in my imagination that could happen to me, sent me passed mania into psychosis. Where my eyes burnt and anxieties and fears tranquilized. I contemplated to stay in this mode and not tell my doctor since I can function highly psychotic without anyone even knowing. But as I wrote down the rules to stay in this state of mind: find an egoless person to feed from, only be perfect when you want to be perfect, understand that everyone hates you, abused you, and have been jealous for so long. These Hitlerish things conflicted with the Bible's message so I abandoned the idea within a second.When I awoke, it had become clear that my brother was feeding off of me my entire life. In younger age, more boldly with verbal jabs at my self esteem and in older age, refined mechanisms that were wordless and with subtle, split second decisions, that he knew bothered me. And I was never calling him on it. Nevertheless, the rage grew in me so until my cup ran over and spilled onto the ground. I confronted him and pretty much terrified them in some way and they left my house because they were not comfortable around someone taking anti-psychotics (I drove myself to the docs office in full psychosis and sat and held a coherent conversation with him; I'll never forget it although it is a ghost of a memory along with every other event in my life).I was born Christian and instantly dI was born Christian and instantly drawn to several movies I had seen: There Will Be Blood especially. Unknown ones to you: Trigun and Kikaider (anime).TWBB, at first I thought was anti-Christian, but during psychosis I realized that Daniel Plainview was the personification of the Son of Man. A reference in The bible in which Jesus used to refer to himself and others (Daniel and Elijah). Son of Man became a fixation for some reason because I was being drawn to the phrase everywhere I went. The Bible basically says that the Son of Man is found righteous in spite of his flaws and his Judgment takes place before death. He is found righteous before God even though he is as damaging as a blade. A weapon, per say, for God. Whether by sword or pen.This is a diatribe. I admit. But yet it still is a question. I don't want to fail at my job and they seem willing to work with my disabilities if all else fails operating within the norm. I get cognitive dissonance when I stay late. speak.



I have a problem with organization and I can't stop a task until I finish.?

Ok starting at the beginning, I have clinical depression and am currently taking wellbutrin, it’s however not exactly working. I have a very negative outlook on life, and feel that I really fail at everything. I’m always unhappy and focusing on everything bad in my life, and wishing I was dead. And I really hate that, because I know there are people who don’t get the chance to live their lives and here I am with the chance and I’m taking it for granted every single day. I’ve tried to change my views on life but every time I manage to for a little while something bad happens and I’m right back at the start. I don’t know how to handle death, or how to grieve properly. It consumes my entire life and is all I focus on. When I watch TV shows, movies or read books I get emotionally attached to the characters, and then I get totally upset when the series or the book ends… I don’t even know what that would be called or why I do that. I’m completely unhappy with myself and who I am, and I feel like I can’t figure myself out. One day I’ll think that I’m going to let my hair grow, workout, look a certain way be nice etc, and then the very next I’ll wanna chop off all my hair, get piercing, etc. it’s like I’m always trying to be something, but I don’t know what is the real me.. And then I end up going shopping and buying a whole bunch of a certain style of clothes and the next day deciding I hate them all … and wanting a whole new style. And this frustrates me which makes me even more depressed. I just want to be happy and stop taking my life for granted. Can anyone tell me any way I can do this? Like self help techniques? Things you may have done? Spirituality? Yoga? Etc anything!Thank you



can anyone help me to have a better outlook on life?

Ok starting at the beginning, I have clinical depression and am currently taking wellbutrin, it’s however not exactly working. I have a very negative outlook on life, and feel that I really fail at everything. I’m always unhappy and focusing on everything bad in my life, and wishing I was dead. And I really hate that, because I know there are people who don’t get the chance to live their lives and here I am with the chance and I’m taking it for granted every single day. I’ve tried to change my views on life but every time I manage to for a little while something bad happens and I’m right back at the start. I don’t know how to handle death, or how to grieve properly. It consumes my entire life and is all I focus on. When I watch TV shows, movies or read books I get emotionally attached to the characters, and then I get totally upset when the series or the book ends… I don’t even know what that would be called or why I do that. I’m completely unhappy with myself and who I am, and I feel like I can’t figure myself out. One day I’ll think that I’m going to let my hair grow, workout, look a certain way be nice etc, and then the very next I’ll wanna chop off all my hair, get piercing, etc. it’s like I’m always trying to be something, but I don’t know what is the real me.. And then I end up going shopping and buying a whole bunch of a certain style of clothes and the next day deciding I hate them all … and wanting a whole new style. And this frustrates me which makes me even more depressed. I just want to be happy and stop taking my life for granted. Can anyone tell me any way I can do this? Like self help techniques? Things you may have done? Spirituality? Yoga? Etc anything!Thank you



Can anyone help me figure out how to have a better outlook on life?

heres my background:im an 18 yr hispanic male. within the last year i have ben diagnosed with depression, bi polar, anxiety disorder, and paranoid schizophrenia. i have attempted suicide twice already. (serious attempts), i have been hospitilized for a week twice, i have had many diff psychiatrists and pyschologist. i have took prozac, klanopin, seroquel, wellbutrin, risperdal, and invega. i graduated at the top of my high school class and im in college now but i am getting worse. heres whats happening now:i feel extremely suicidal. i cant sleep at night. i have gone up to 3 days without an hr of sleep. i seem to sometimes daze out of reality. i have started to self medicate with drugs.(stupid i know) i smoke marijuana regularly as well as cigerettes, mushrooms once, and occasional oxycontin. i bought a whole lot of oxycontin with the single intention of someday using it to commit suicide (overdose) and i still have it. i have a gf i feel ignores me and thus this encourages my suicidal thoughts. i cant concentrate. i sometimes dont want to take my medication and i hate all psychiatrist (i dont want to talk to them). i love sex and porn. when i dont sleep, i dont eat and sometimes ill scratch at my arm with my nails or a key/sharp object. i act very normal around people (they dont notice). theres very few ppl i actually talk to about this. i have a suicide plan. i feel i have 2 diff personalities, a suicidal side and a non suicidal side. i created a figure and character for my suicidal side. i wanted to seperate it from my conscious so i could have something i could actually see becuase i dont feel like its really me. so i created this imaginary person. i named him steve. i know he doesnt exist in reality but he exist in my head. he gets stronger everyday. he tells me to kill myself or do drugs or isolate myself. he convinces me that im all alone here aside from himself. he came up with this plan to do poorly in school (not study, not do hw etc) to assure/increase chance of me commiting suicide, since doing poorly in school is a main trigger to suicidal ideations (as well as gf) i feel as if i dont do good in school, i cant become anything. the plan is working. i am failing most of my classes so therefore i am seriously planning a suicide. the only thing stopping me thus far is fear of hurting my family. steve gave me a day to do it. nov 1. i have given up. i hate steve and my disorder but i love them too. steves appearance consist of a young, confident, relaxed, cool young white male. i only do drugs for 2 reasons. b/c i want to enjoy my last few days. and becuase i feel normal when im high. i dont want to kill myself and steve does not exist when im high. when im depressed i feel a very real deep pain in my heart. it feels like a blackhole. but its not emotional, its almost physical. i dont believe in god. i am an athiest. i am too embarrassed and scared to tell anyone what i am saying now, which is why im only saying it here. i know this isnt the place to seek medical advice but i only want opinions. i would like to know before i die. whats wrong with me? which disorder DO i have? maybe it could help me overcome this soon. i really dont want to die. steve does. plz help. thank you.



What's mentally wrong with me??

Whats wrong with me??heres my background:im an 18 yr hispanic male. within the last year i have ben diagnosed with depression, bi polar, anxiety disorder, and paranoid schizophrenia. i have attempted suicide twice already. (serious attempts), i have been hospitilized for a week twice, i have had many diff psychiatrists and pyschologist. i have took prozac, klanopin, seroquel, wellbutrin, risperdal, and invega. i graduated at the top of my high school class and im in college now but i am getting worse. heres whats happening now:i feel extremely suicidal. i cant sleep at night. i have gone up to 3 days without an hr of sleep. i seem to sometimes daze out of reality. i have started to self medicate with drugs.(stupid i know) i smoke marijuana regularly as well as cigerettes, mushrooms once, and occasional oxycontin. i bought a whole lot of oxycontin with the single intention of someday using it to commit suicide (overdose) and i still have it. i have a gf i feel ignores me and thus this encourages my suicidal thoughts. i cant concentrate. i sometimes dont want to take my medication and i hate all psychiatrist (i dont want to talk to them). i love sex and porn. when i dont sleep, i dont eat and sometimes ill scratch at my arm with my nails or a key/sharp object. i act very normal around people (they dont notice). theres very few ppl i actually talk to about this. i have a suicide plan. i feel i have 2 diff personalities, a suicidal side and a non suicidal side. i created a figure and character for my suicidal side. i wanted to seperate it from my conscious so i could have something i could actually see becuase i dont feel like its really me. so i created this imaginary person. i named him steve. i know he doesnt exist in reality but he exist in my head. he gets stronger everyday. he tells me to kill myself or do drugs or isolate myself. he convinces me that im all alone here aside from himself. he came up with this plan to do poorly in school (not study, not do hw etc) to assure/increase chance of me commiting suicide, since doing poorly in school is a main trigger to suicidal ideations (as well as gf) i feel as if i dont do good in school, i cant become anything. the plan is working. i am failing most of my classes so therefore i am seriously planning a suicide. the only thing stopping me thus far is fear of hurting my family. steve gave me a day to do it. nov 1. i have given up. i hate steve and my disorder but i love them too. steves appearance consist of a young, confident, relaxed, cool young white male. im only do drugs for 2 reasons. b/c i want to enjoy my last few days. and becuase i feel normal when im high. i dont want to kill myself and steve does not exist when im high. when im depressed i feel a very real deep pain in my heart. it feels like a blackhole. but its not emotional, its almost physical. i dot believe in god. i am an athiest. i am too embarrassed and scared to tell anyone what i am saying now, which is why im only saying it here. i know thi isnt the place to seek medical advice but i only want opinions. i would like to know before i die. whats wrong with me? maybe it could help me overcome this soon. i really dont want to die. steve does. plz help. thank you.



Whats mentally wrong with me?

heres my background:im an 18 yr hispanic male. within the last year i have ben diagnosed with depression, bi polar, anxiety disorder, and paranoid schizophrenia. i have attempted suicide twice already. (serious attempts), i have been hospitilized for a week twice, i have had many diff psychiatrists and pyschologist. i have took prozac, klanopin, seroquel, wellbutrin, risperdal, and invega. i graduated at the top of my high school class and im in college now but i am getting worse. heres whats happening now:i feel extremely suicidal. i cant sleep at night. i have gone up to 3 days without an hr of sleep. i seem to sometimes daze out of reality. i have started to self medicate with drugs.(stupid i know) i smoke marijuana regularly as well as cigerettes, mushrooms once, and occasional oxycontin. i bought a whole lot of oxycontin with the single intention of someday using it to commit suicide (overdose) and i still have it. i have a gf i feel ignores me and thus this encourages my suicidal thoughts. i cant concentrate. i sometimes dont want to take my medication and i hate all psychiatrist (i dont want to talk to them). i love sex and porn. when i dont sleep, i dont eat and sometimes ill scratch at my arm with my nails or a key/sharp object. i act very normal around people (they dont notice). theres very few ppl i actually talk to about this. i have a suicide plan. i feel i have 2 diff personalities, a suicidal side and a non suicidal side. i created a figure and character for my suicidal side. i wanted to seperate it from my conscious so i could have something i could actually see becuase i dont feel like its really me. so i created this imaginary person. i named him steve. i know he doesnt exist in reality but he exist in my head. he gets stronger everyday. he tells me to kill myself or do drugs or isolate myself. he convinces me that im all alone here aside from himself. he came up with this plan to do poorly in school (not study, not do hw etc) to assure/increase chance of me commiting suicide, since doing poorly in school is a main trigger to suicidal ideations (as well as gf) i feel as if i dont do good in school, i cant become anything. the plan is working. i am failing most of my classes so therefore i am seriously planning a suicide. the only thing stopping me thus far is fear of hurting my family. steve gave me a day to do it. nov 1. i have given up. i hate steve and my disorder but i love them too. steves appearance consist of a young, confident, relaxed, cool young white male. im only do drugs for 2 reasons. b/c i want to enjoy my last few days. and becuase i feel normal when im high. i dont want to kill myself and steve does not exist when im high. when im depressed i feel a very real deep pain in my heart. it feels like a blackhole. but its not emotional, its almost physical. i dot believe in god. i am an athiest. i am too embarrassed and scared to tell anyone what i am saying now, which is why im only saying it here. i know thi isnt the place to seek medical advice but i only want opinions. i would like to know before i die. whats wrong with me? maybe it could help me overcome this soon. i really dont want to die. steve does. plz help. thank you.