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What can happen if I have tried a LOT of different anti-depressants over the past for 4 years?

I explained my situation much more thoroughly when I asked this question on a depression forum but since there's not all that much space here I'll just leave it to the absolute basics: I'm 21 and have been dealing with debilitating depression and anxiety for the last 8 years of my life. They've made it so that it is an extreme chore to do even the simplest tasks as well as made it next to impossible to leave the house due to how bad my social anxiety/panic attacks get. Over the last 8 years I've been on 14 different medications to treat these two issues, all of which have been either an anti-depressant or an anti-psychotic. Not a single one out of those 14 meds has done anything whatsoever to treat or reduce either issue; I get the bad side effects but nothing else.My doctor is now suggesting MAOIs (another anti-depressant) as a "last resort" medication since nothing else has worked, but considering how dangerous they are and how little other anti-depressants have helped, I feel like there's got to be a different or better way.If anyone has any experience with treating either depression or anxiety of their own or if anyone knows anything about pharmaceuticals or other treatments, I'd love to hear your input.These are the medications I have already been prescribed (and found unhelpful); some were taken simultaneously to augment each other.Anti-depressants: Zoloft, Paxil, Lexapro, Prozac, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Effexor, Cymbalta and LithiumAnti-psychotics: Risperdal, Zyprexa, Seroquel, Abilify and GeodonI feel I should also mention the non-prescription drug treatments I've tried as well over the years...these include herbal treatments, light therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, St. John's Wort, 5-HTP, exercising daily and supplements like omega-3, vitamin B and so on.Again, if anyone has any ideas or advice to offer, it would be much appreciated.



What other treatments are there for severe depression/anxiety other than anti-depressants and anti-psychotics?

I have incurred a psychotic episode at 24 when I felt that my brother was doing subtle things to lower my self esteem; a flow through issue from when we were young where he did it blatantly with direct words and actions.I was given Seroquel and was told to take as much as I needed to get to sleep. 200mgs put me in slight sleep and I kept it there. But it was my directing of anger from my brother to "signs from God"; labeled delusions by practitioners who themselves have not experienced consciousness at that level. Anyway, I bet you've guessed that I think the signs from God are real and you're damn right. I see them every day. It just required connecting the dots and analyzing, or even reconciling, the momentarily stand out visual image with the subsequent or simultaneous thought in your brain. And you can even analyze two or more things that you see that are in some kind of relationship to each other and try to think how it applies to your life; almost trying to think like God via his signs so you can in essence communicate with him.This requires noticing and analyzing everything you see, which I do. Maybe this is sensory overload, the label doctors give it.BUTThe main point of this post is to determine whether I have paranoid schizophrenia or just a paranoid personality disorder.The only thing that makes the paranoia subside is Klonopin, and I broke the rules for the first time and took a fourth pill when I am only prescribed 3 per day. Literature says four per day is maximum.The three per day gets me through the day just fine, but it's when I get home is now the issue. The paranoia is tailing me home.And a lot of it is not unjustified. I work for the Fed Gov and a lot of information has to be secured. I'm sure you would conclude, just as I would, that this plays a major role in the level of paranoia I incur.Leaving your job at home is a lesson for a sane man. Someone like me, who definitely suffers from Manic Depression, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Obsessive Compulsion Disorder, and Social Anxiety Disorder.I used to attribute the paranoia to the social anxiety, but with 150 mgs of Zoloft (FDA approved for treatment of SA) I feel no social anxiety but the paranoia persists.They're like thoughts in my head that cause me grief. At my most defeatists moments, I'm no better than a maggot. The keyword is "loser" which resonates and causes me to feel sub par in relation to my coworkers/peers. I hold myself responsible to be equal with my peers, which is a mistake because I automatically assume that my peers are perfect in which they are not. They are just better at maintaining a poker face (something learned in High School which I missed out due to home school).I have a college degree and this mental debilitation occurred directly after graduating. Unemployed, first my head burned as if I blew it out. I believe I exceeded limitations that were strong. Since thinking hurts ten times more than the average man, I was due for a tune up or I would have probably become "un-wanting" of life.I'm on five medicines.PER DAY:Klonopin (3 mgs)Adderall (60 mgs)Wellbutrin (300 mgs)Seroquel (300 mgs at night)Zoloft (150 mgs)What is a better medicine for this paranoia that I suffer from; which mimics social anxiety. The giggles, audible smirks, random laughing, makes me CRAZY. I put on head phones today and was able to make it without primarily the drugs. Silence makes me CRAZY! It's an interrogation technique for a reason; a tortuous one for me.Long Post I know. But what do you think? Doctors, assistants, common sufferers, average answerer?Every mistake lures this thinking into play. I don't know if Schizophrenic people actually hear auditory sounds or speech or that they over legitimize the random ( negative or positive) thoughts constantly occurring in their chaotic mind.Though, if I had to guess, it would definitely be auditory, where you can hear it since I had one and it sounded like a huge bullet train stopped on a dime in front of my ear causing the worst screeching imaginable. This and when I overdid amphetamine with (Benadryl), a HUGE mistake becase the Benadryl potentiatea the amphetamine (adderall), and I experinced visual delusions such as the room sliding downwards; sorta like not being able to stabilize your sight into one point.I appreciate your quick replies, as I needed them really badly. I wear a cross around my neck in order to remember who my Father is. I don't believe that living in a Fantasy that constricts you from harming man in any fashion can be dangerous to those around me. People's normal egos are a trigger, but I try to render until deceased. But darkness may override when someone is being unreasonable post my submission. I am still not dangerous then. I'm not a patient who kills his son because God told him so. Because my God as visioned by Jesus Christ would never state. Any situation that I become psychotic and dangerous is a situation in which I needed to become psychotic and dangerous. I am a protector and not a harmer. This has been the truth for the entirety of my life. I've been a sufferer rather than an inflicter. I know what sorrow feels like and I know what hollowness feels like. Zoloft was the first correct Rx that I was put on and the others followed at my bequest based on research.The medications help me tremendously. I used to be an insomniac and the Seroquel is a great sedative. More powerful than Valium or Klonopin. If I am psychotic, 300 mgs probably isn't enough, since I hear Seroquel only works as an anti-psychotic at over 400 mgs. But it replenishes me for the next day which is all I require. I'll up it to 450 after my pdoc writes me 3 mo Rx to avoid high cost.The Klonopin is absolutely necessary for work. I can not function with paranoia running amuck in my mind. This is a lesson learned during my last job. It was SO bad. SO!Adderall is the only drug that is going to make me sit still which is a requirement for a grunt accountant such as myself.Wellbutrin, raises the floor for depression to above normal levels where I feel numb. There is no tension, relief, then pleasure activity within me anymore. If it is, it is minuscule. Zoloft is the first drug that worked for me, after taking that crap Celexa, Lexapro, and the infamous sugar pill Buspar.



Paranoid Schizophrenia, Paranoid Personality Disorder? *LONG POST*?

I work for the federal government and my boss says that I can't stay past 4:45. I physically can't stop what I'm doing and then begin organizing the tedious little time keeping mechanism (sheer pain). And then I go through rituals.making sure everything is locked up.I take:Klonopin 3 mgsZoloft 100 mgsWellbutrin 300 mgsSeroquel (night) 300 mgsAdderall (day) 60 mgs.This line up is pretty much, "Doc, give me the whole refrigerator". But it's brought my mind down from 120 mph to about 5. I no longer suffer in the minute and even second. Time is irrelevant.But I still have pervasive issues. Obsessive compulsion and problems with tedious tasks.I believe I am quite capable of completing my work and doing well on my job, but I need some unaccounted for time in order to get things back up to speed. But accounting for every second of your day by applying it to cases, which by the hand, is limited to the expected time of an action. So you may work an eight hour day and still not have enough time to put on the sheet.People lie and work/game the system. Me, I have little experience in the science of deception. I tried it and failed miserably , it was so obvious.I work harder than everyone in the office, but am finding myself in this predicament.My first job, I was not medicated, but even if I was having problems with the job at the end (not to mention a fall out with a certain supervisor). The majority of the organization wanted to keep me. But I was on empty after a year of sitting in front of a computer with ADHD, Manic Depression, Paranoia, Social Anxiety, and Obsessive Compulsion Disorder.I know realize that the paranoia is separate from the social anxiety. Because the Zoloft (only SSRI approved for the treatment of SA by the FDA) doesn't relieve it. The only thing that makes the social paranoia go away is the Klonopin.I'm always thinking that someone is thinking of me. Especially when it is silent. This signals insecurity, but yet I'm a desultorily a mad man, especially when provoked due to the WWII super soldier elixir mixed with regular rage. Though, I am safe. Above all, do no harm. I've submitted to Jesus and God and realized that I needed Him more than he needed me. So if if Jesus/God is a fantasy than he is equivalent to a prison cell in which I am in and in possession of the key; holding myself against my own will.I do not plan to come out. Because then I would be a danger to the world. A public enemy.This started with a simple subject and it turned into a novel. But if anyone can give me that "Golden Answer" I've been looking for my entire life, give it a go.I've already concluded that everything in the world is connected, woven delicately. And at certain longitudes and latitudes, God may bless you with the opportunity of two things coming together.I thought that "All connections had been made" during my first psychotic episode. And I will never view the world in the same manner again. Jesus said, that if you keep the first two commandments, "This Do, and you will live". The second is to love your neighbor, but the first is to love God with all your heart. I, and few or many, I'm not sure, chose to fear, love, abide and serve man. Me so, and probably many so with the friendship between myself and my brother. I took on all the guilt of our failed relationship and I let it make me weak with a high sense of integrity and a long bought with suffering.But I finally saw through him in July 2009. The Adderall and the Zoloft (another stim), plus getting the best thing in my imagination that could happen to me, sent me passed mania into psychosis. Where my eyes burnt and anxieties and fears tranquilized. I contemplated to stay in this mode and not tell my doctor since I can function highly psychotic without anyone even knowing. But as I wrote down the rules to stay in this state of mind: find an egoless person to feed from, only be perfect when you want to be perfect, understand that everyone hates you, abused you, and have been jealous for so long. These Hitlerish things conflicted with the Bible's message so I abandoned the idea within a second.When I awoke, it had become clear that my brother was feeding off of me my entire life. In younger age, more boldly with verbal jabs at my self esteem and in older age, refined mechanisms that were wordless and with subtle, split second decisions, that he knew bothered me. And I was never calling him on it. Nevertheless, the rage grew in me so until my cup ran over and spilled onto the ground. I confronted him and pretty much terrified them in some way and they left my house because they were not comfortable around someone taking anti-psychotics (I drove myself to the docs office in full psychosis and sat and held a coherent conversation with him; I'll never forget it although it is a ghost of a memory along with every other event in my life).I was born Christian and instantly dI was born Christian and instantly drawn to several movies I had seen: There Will Be Blood especially. Unknown ones to you: Trigun and Kikaider (anime).TWBB, at first I thought was anti-Christian, but during psychosis I realized that Daniel Plainview was the personification of the Son of Man. A reference in The bible in which Jesus used to refer to himself and others (Daniel and Elijah). Son of Man became a fixation for some reason because I was being drawn to the phrase everywhere I went. The Bible basically says that the Son of Man is found righteous in spite of his flaws and his Judgment takes place before death. He is found righteous before God even though he is as damaging as a blade. A weapon, per say, for God. Whether by sword or pen.This is a diatribe. I admit. But yet it still is a question. I don't want to fail at my job and they seem willing to work with my disabilities if all else fails operating within the norm. I get cognitive dissonance when I stay late. speak.



I have a problem with organization and I can't stop a task until I finish.?

First let me start by saying that I am extremely well-versed in the DSM and psychotropic pharmaceuticals.For the last few years I have been plagued by generalized anxiety and accompanying insomnia. I've gone to psychiatrist after psychiatrist, and they've always prescribed me some antidepressant or another, none of which ever work (and yes, I've obediently taken each for weeks or months at a time - plenty of time for their effects to kick in.) Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft, Wellbutrin, Remeron, Effexor, Remeron WITH Effexor (California rocket fuel, as they call it, and it gave me crazy side effects), then Seroquel as an anxiolytic, even Benadryl and Trazodone. I'm like a guinea pig for the pharmaceutical industry, but nothing does anything good.The only thing that's ever taken away my anxiety and let me function without a constant state of crippling fear is benzodiazepines. My dad just started giving his to me, and my grandma used to as well years ago. I am currently taking 1 mg of Klonopin twice a day, and for the first time in almost a year I can wake up without shaking and freaking out about every worry in my life.Problem is, no shrink seems to be willing to prescribe me Klonopin or any other Benzo! I guess because I'm 26, they figure I'm some junkie who'll go off and get high on them or sell them or something. I'd been self-medicating with alcohol until my dad started giving me these pills, and again, for the first time in months I don't need to drink. Also, maybe the shrinks think I'll abuse the meds because I experimented with recreational drugs in my late teens (eyeroll, who doesn't?) This sucks. The only thing that helps me live a normal life and no one will prescribe it to me. What do I do? Please advise.The anxiety predated my use of alcohol, and I never "abused" the alcohol, I merely drank just enough to relieve my anxiety - the effects of a single drink.



Crippling anxiety. Need medications. Doctors won't prescribe me the ones that work. Advice?

What if its combined with seroquel and zoloftI mean bugs



can wellbutrin or abilify feel like a bug is crawling on your brain.?

how do i accept that i have this problem and is there any natural way to minimize my symptoms and i also have as being diagnosed with depression General anxiety disorder obsessive compulsive disorder post traumatic stress disorder meds that i currently take are zoloft wellbutrin seroquel



i just got diagnosed with adhd will i have to take my meds for the rest of my life?

I know this is LONG, but if you know anything about headaches (professionally), espcially MD/experts/specialists PLEASE read.For the past 10 years, I have been battling progressively worsening migraines/tension headaches. (I can pretty much take care of the tensions with TENS unit, heat and regular massages) but the migraines occur 3-5+ times per week and are debilitating. I have been on 78 different medications- preventatives, abortives, narcotics, psychiatric meds as well pure oxygen), pretty much everything that is traditionally used to treat migraines and then some. I've stopped smoking, drinking alcohol, stabilized caffeine at 200mg/day consistently and worked on nutrition/exercise. I am still in pain every day. I have had MRIs, CT scans, bloodwork inc. TSH, seen 3 different neurologists, a headache specialist, 4 different psychiatrists (the first neuro referred me after nothing he tried worked), an ENT and an eye doctor. Perfect sinuses. 20/20 vision. Nothing is pathologically wrong. I've had 2 facet blocks and an occipital nerve block, physical therapy. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I am 23 years old and no doctor wants to treat chronic intractable migraines in someone that young. I suppose I appear like a drug seeker, but I'm truly not. I'm in nursing school and just want to finish, get my MPH and work in public health. I also have severe social anxiety, severe insomnia and depression (in the past) and have finally found a psychiatrist who has me on the right combination of meds for that (Lexapro, Ativan, Ambien and Seroquel). I cringe at the thought of going to another neurologist since they like to dabble in psych meds (which I understand is necessary), but they usually end up adding something that throws off the combination I've finally achieved to control my anxiety and depression. For instance, Keppra made me suicidal and Zonegran made me have multiple panic attacks which my psychiatrist had to intervene and add ridiculously high dosages of even more benzos so I could just go to school and work.I'm honestly just tired inside and ready to give up. I understand narcotics are not routinely used to treat migraines, but are there special exceptions, because the ONLY medications that work (other than Midrin) are Nubain, Stadol, and hydrocodone. Demerol doesn't work. Ultram, pentazocine, codeine, Darvocet, oxycodone, none of these work, so as you can see, I'm not looking to get high or I'd be fine with Demerol and Percocets. Truly, the most effective is Nubain. ALL it does is stop the headache. No "high"- I can still function. Sedation isn't a problem as my body chemistry seems to react opposite to what will usually "knock someone else out" (for example, I am on 6mg Ativan + up to 30mg Tranxene PRN to control anxiety and it doesn't make me the least bit sleepy). I am fully capable of giving myself IM injections as it only comes parenterally. I know it is not exactly desirible, but my quality life is at ZERO and I would rather give myself frequent injections than live like this. Nubain has a ceiling effect, antagonistic properties, is less habit-forming than the pure mu agonists, will antagonize other narcotics, and is not scheduled by the DEA (no scrutiny). What are the chances of having this prescribed for home use. I am already forced to go sit in waiting rooms IN AGONIZING pain 2-4 times a week for something I can easily do myself.Meds I've been on for headaches or as an off-shoot psychiatrist-prescribed related TO the primary problem of headaches (and it's a long list): virtually every OTC, Zoloft, Elavil, Imitrex, Maxalt, Zomig, Amerge, Frova, Relpax, Axert, Pamelor, Neurontin, Migranal, Melatonin, Lithium, Keppra, Inderal, Indocin, Cataflam with Reglan, Namenda, Esgic, Lithium, Pristiq, Mobic, Zonegran, Toradol, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Abilify, Trazodone, Buspar, Geodon, Zyprexa, Topamax, Depakote, Verapamil, PURE O2 @12 L, Esgic, Toradol, Ultram, Magnesium, Celebrex, Vioxx, dicflocenac, Lidocaine (intranasally), Vistaril, Haldol, Solu-medrol, Lexapro, Midrin, Naprosyn, Seroquel, Ativan, Restoril, Ambien, Rozerem, Lunesta, Sonata, Valium, Klonopin, Tranxene + NARCOTICS (as "rescue meds") - Nubain, Stadol NS, Pentazocine (Talacen), Lortab, Intravenous Demerol, Darvocet, Percocet, and Tylenol #3.I realize I've been medicated to the point that I don't really know what is doing what. I know I need the Lexapro/Ativan. I'm trying to get back to natural sleep, cutting back the dosage of sleep Ambien/Seroquel for sleep (ironically neither works alone, but they work great together).So, just to be frank, I really don't want medications suggested (I'd be open to it, of course, but very wary). I know what works and what doesn't. And if it's something I haven't tried and is related, that is if it is anticonvulsant, antidepressant, etc. I'm just not interested. I think I've been a good sport in giving those a chance, and I'm done playing the guinea pig. I know it's trial-and-error but it



Need help from expert on chronic headaches?

I'm at a breaking point. I am 27 years old and my two diagnoses are: extreme social anxiety disorder, and moderate generalized anxiety disorder.When I am unmedicated, I feel completely worthless. Most of the time while I am at work, I simply close my office door and avoid the phone. I cringe whenever it rings and nearly freak out when my boss or a coworker comes in to talk to me. When I am home, I basically sit on my bed... in my bedroom... playing on my laptop... like I am now. I freak out when the phone rings or someone buzzes the doorbell. When I am I feeling *really* bad, I have actually been known to hide in the bathroom with the doors locked.I have been on and off benzodiazepines for the past 13 years: Xanax and Klonopin. I took Xanax (0.5, 1 & 2mg) up until 3 years ago. Since then, I have been on 1mg Klonopin. The medications have always worked splendidly. I become very social and very productive when I take them as directed, and am at the top of my game. The downside is that I remember none of it. When I take these benzodiazepines, my short- and long-term memory are almost completely wiped out. I have experienced long blocks of memory loss, some literally lasting a month or more. I do not abuse the medications at all when I take them, unlike a lot of people.I have also been told that when I take these meds, my personality completely changes, and I become a different person. I obviously cannot confirm that, because I CAN'T REMEMBER - LOL!I have tried lower doses and lower frequency of my medication and it does not help. I was told by my last psychiatrist that my condition is so severe, that I am one of the few patients he has ever seen who actually needs the higher dosage of these medications.I am in a "Catch-22".I have tried probably 20 other medications over the years, trying to replace the benzos. Some of them include buspar, zoloft, seroquel, valium, paxil, prozac, lithium, librium, haldol, wellbutrin, and probably a couple others i am forgetting. I always end back up on xanax or klonopin because the effects of the other meds are negligible.I have been through months of therapy over the years, and again the effect seems negligible. I always end up back on the benzos.So the question is, do I just "Give Up" and take these insanely powerful -- but helpful -- meds for the rest of my life and permanently sacrifice my memory and personality? Or do I spend the rest of my life hiding in the bathroon... paranoid, unmotivated, frightened, and anti-social?Does anyone know of any new or alternative treatments available for extreme anxiety problems? I've tried everything... I have taken the advice of physicians who swear by medications, and I have taken the advice of physicians that swear by therapy. To date, none of it has worked.PIXELS: No, I have not been on the meds consistently for all these years. Typically, I will go a few months on them, then go off of them for a few months.PIXELS: Also, it hasn't been the same doctor treating me all this time. I have had probably 3 regular doctors and 5 psychiatrists since I was 17 or 18 years old.MORE DETAILS: Pixels, I somewhat misunderstood your question about the doctor so I will explain my problem with finding "another doctor". Each time I mention being treated with benzodiazepines, someone invariably says I should try therapy or find another doctor. I have ditched perfectly good doctors so many times in the past on this advice, only to find the next one in line treating me with the same tired treatments that have failed in the past. I am very leery about doing this again... because in the past what happens is I build a trust, a relationship and a history with a physician and then I end up starting over again on someone's advice. I switch from benzos to therapy and back again pretty predictably every 6 or 8 months. However, the Cognitive-behavioral therapy is an interesting approach that to my knowledge I have not tried. I will check into that. However, at this point... I am open to almost anything that's not Xanax, Klonopin, or traditional therapy - LOL.



Keep taking benzos or keep feeling like crap?

Prozac : made me convulsePaxil: dittoZoloft : worked OK for about 3 years & the levels were to highLexapro: I WON'T take b/c it makes you gain weightCymbalta: made me sweat & gave me weird dreamsSeroquel( not an anti depressant but DON'T ask)celexa: more convulsionsSerzone: made me throw upStrattera (not an anti depressant I know but made me chillsWellbutrin ; more axniety than beforeAm I screwed? Right now I am on a high dose of Xanax XR (3mg 2x a day) & 30 mg of BuSpar twice a day.Oh don't get me wrong I go to a REAL shrink lol. dr's in the past prescribed all that other crap which is why they are no longer my DR'sdepression is not ALL in the mind or I wouldn't have felt this way for 18 years (when I was 12)Thanks for asking my "diagnonsense" before saying I'm Bipolar. FYI I have BORDERLINE PERSONALITY/HISTRIONIC PERSONALITY DISORDER & EDNOS!



Anti depressants. I have literally tried them all & they give me side effects . Are there alternatives?

I have a complex mix of disorders that my doctors are finding difficult to treat (Tourette's, OCD, anxiety/panic attacks, depression/possibly bipolar/they can't decide due to all my other symptoms). SSRIs had no noticeable effect (I've tried Paxil, Zoloft, Lexapro & Prozac), antipsychotics are a big no due to cognitive side effects (Haldol, Seroquel, Zyprexa, Orap), Effexor and Remeron leveled out quickly even at top doses (and Effexor makes me hallucinate), and Wellbutrin worked okay but makes Tourette's tics difficult to manage.For those of you that didn't respond to SSRIs, what actually worked for you?I've tried benzos as well. Xanax works great for anxiety (and Tourette's), I took it previously for a couple of years alongside a few other meds. I'm in a new country now though, and they don't want to prescribe them longterm, so it's not an option.I've been off meds completely for 1.5 years, and I'm doing badly which is why the doctors want to put me back on something.. they just don't know what to try. Depression and agoraphobia is currently so severe I haven't left home in 3 months except to go to the doctor. My father died recently (taking care of him meant giving up my job as well), which leaves me back in a new country without a job and knowing no one.. but I don't have support elsewhere anyway so it doesn't matter where I am. I've done yoga and meditation for many years to help manage Tourette's, but right now something more is needed.